Finding Love
by FunkyBubble14
Summary: After everything that has happened to Erik, can he finally find love when he comes to America? Please no major flames about possibly setting up Erik with someone other than Christine. Reasonably fluffy.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own rights to Phantom, or any of the characters. **I do own rights to my own characters, like Marie.

**A/N**:I've tried my best to base this Erik off of ALW version of Phantom, just FYI

After Christine left him alone in his lair, Erik considered himself lucky that he managed to escape the mob. They had just reached the bottom of the stairs when he swept his cloak around him and disappeared. Or so it seemed. He had made good use of the trapdoor he built behind his throne. He managed to find Madame Giry, and much to his embarrassment, asked for her help. Apparently, Madame Giry was planning to move to the United States with her daughter Meg, and offered to take him with them. Erik accepted, mostly because Madame Giry and Meg were two of the three people in Paris who didn't want him dead. Besides, what else could he do?

The Girys found a small townhouse in Boston, and gave Erik a room to himself. He spent most of his time in his room, coming out only for meals, or occasionally, to take walks along the streets of Boston.

Once again, Erik spent the evening wandering the streets. Whenever Madame Giry asked where he was going, he told her he was looking for work. It was a lie, but he knew Madame Giry couldn't afford to house him for much longer. He might as well make her think he was _trying_ to support himself.

Luckily tonight was a cold night, so there weren't many people on the street. He had gotten used to the looks he received, as he had given up concealing his face with a mask, but he still enjoyed lonely nights like this. He had only seen one person tonight: a young man who seemed to be in a hurry, and therefore took no notice of Erik. He had almost reached the house he shared with Madame Giry when he heard someone speak.

"You have a lovely voice". Erik stopped where he was. "What?" he growled. He hadn't even realized he had been singing. But he was, about his music. The music he wanted Christine to sing for him what seemed like a lifetime ago…

He turned around a saw a young woman (no more than thirty) with a heart shaped face, and bright green eyes; her head covered in light brown curls, staring back at him. She flinched upon seeing his face, but did not look away. She swallowed.

"I said, you have a lovely voice. I hear you singing to yourself." She smiled slightly. "I wish I could sing like that." Erik said nothing, but continued to stare at her.

She gestured to the house behind him. "Do you live here?" He nodded grimly. The girl smiled again, this time her grin a little broader. "My name's Marie." Erik nodded again, and went into the house without another word.

"Any luck tonight, monsieur?" Erik walked past Madame Giry and went up the stairs. He longed for the privacy of his room, so he could be alone. So he could think. _What an odd girl,_ Erik thought. Most women who saw his face with such clarity screamed or ran away. But she didn't. The girl, _Marie_, he remembered, had even complimented his voice. He had never received a compliment before in his life. Now that he thought about it, those were the only kind words he had heard ever since he had entered this blasted country. _Maybe,_ Erik thought as he settled into his bed, _this girl was different from others he'd seen._

The next morning, Erik sat at his desk. He was going to do something he hadn't done since he left France. He was going to write music. "Marie," he said. "I'm going to write music for her. I can teach her to sing, I can…" He stopped. "No, no, no!" Erik dropped his head into his hands. "What am I thinking? It's Christine all over again, this girl is NOT Christine!" He stood up and began to pace back and forth. "Why on earth would that girl want anything to do with me? I am a monster! A horrid beast!" Erik swept an arm across the surface of his desk, sending pens, ink and paper crashing to the floor. He grew angrier still. "When am I going to learn? How could anyone possibly love me?" He scowled. "Write music for her," he scoffed. "As if I can hide my face behind music and song…"

He heard a knock at his door. "Erik?" It was that silly little girl, Meg. What could she want? Erik stormed over to the door and threw it open. "When will you learn that I wish to left alone?" he roared. "Does privacy mean nothing to you? What is it that you want?" Young Meg's eyes filled with fear, but she took a breath and said, "There's someone at the door for you." Erik's heart almost stopped at her next words. "A young woman named Marie."

Erik opened the door and stepped outside. The girl he met last night was waiting for him. Seeing Erik, she stood up quickly. "I'm sorry to bother you. I wanted to see you again, you didn't even tell me your name." She looked up at him hopefully.

"Erik," he said, barely audible. "My name is Erik. Would you... would you like to sit down and talk for a while?" He gestured to the small garden in the back of the house. She nodded quickly, and Erik turned so she could follow him. _What am I doing, _he thought. _I don't like to talk. Why am I doing this, especially for a woman? A woman I've just met. I am growing soft, what's the matter with me? _He shook his head in disgust. Nonetheless, he sat down on a bench opposite Marie. Before he knew it, they had started a conversation. They talked for an hour, and before he could stop himself, Erik asked her to come back tomorrow.

Throughout the next week, Erik talked with the girl in the garden, each time opening up a little more. Marie didn't seem to mind his face; she always looked him in the eyes when she spoke to him. Sometimes he would sing for her. One day, as she was getting up to leave, she stopped in front of Erik. She stood opposite him and stared at his face, which bothered Erik. "What are you doing?" he snapped. Marie continued to gaze at him calmly. "I'm trying to imagine that this side of your face," she indicated the unmarred side, "reflected like a mirror." She moved her hand to the other side of his face.

"You could be quite handsome". This was almost too much for poor Erik. "Well I'm not!" he bellowed. "I am hideous! Or could you not see that?" Marie only stepped closer. _What was she doing?_ Erik thought. "I've learned to see past the outside. I know what lies within." With that, she leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips. Erik was shocked, but even more so that he found himself holding her closer. She didn't back away, despite the ice-cold feel of his skin. _Maybe I am growing soft, _Erik thought. _Or maybe… this is what it feels like to fall in love._

_****_**New author, please review, and thank you for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own POTO, or any of the characters. I only own Marie  
**Based off of ALW Phantom

The girl continued to come see him. Each morning, they would sit in the garden and talk for hours. Then they would each rise, and Marie would say "Goodbye. I'll see you tomorrow." Then she would leave.

One day, after one of their talks, Erik found himself pacing back and forth in his room. "What am I doing?" he said. "I can't let this girl love me, assuming she does in the first place! Why would anyone want to love me? Love this…" Erik sat down, prepared to spend a few hours pitying himself. _Christine did, _he thought. _Christine loved me. Oh, I was right, this girl, it's just Christine all over again! _The girl even reminded him of Christine. Her eyes, though a different color, looked at him with the same intensity as Christine's had.

He couldn't allow this girl to come to care for him. She didn't know of his past. He was a monster! That was what really lay inside him. Besides, surely she would go the same way as Christine. She would fall in love with a man who loved her back. Who _could_ love her back. Then she would leave Erik. Abandon him just as Christine had. He could not allow this to happen, both for her good and his own. He made up his mind to tell Marie the next time he saw her.

The following day, Erik met Marie in the garden as usual. Marie opened her mouth to speak, but Erik raised a hand to silence her.

"Marie… we must stop this." She sat up, confused.

"Stop? But Erik, why?"

"I feel, I feel that you are beginning to care for me. Are you not?" Marie nodded, now looking more confused than before.

"Yes, of course, but-" Erik cut her off.

"You must allow me to explain." He looked at her sadly. "I cannot allow you to grow to care for me. It- it won't end well. Can't you see? I am a beast, a monster!" He gestured to his face and grew more agitated. "The last time I loved someone I... I did horrible things." Erik stood up and began to yell. "I am not a man, I am a monster! A hideous creature that does not deserve to live! I cannot love. I just… can't." HIs hands fell limply to his side. Marie stood up with tears in her eyes. "But I can. Erik, I-"

"No!" he roared. "You don't understand! You don't know of my past!" Erik was getting more and more upset. "I hurt people! I did it because I loved someone, but I killed people Marie!" Marie was taken aback. She stared at Erik, and then said, "Please tell me. Tell me what happened, what- what you did." She looked into his eyes, silently pleading with him. Erik sighed, and then sat down. Marie did as well. Then he told her everything that happened at the Opera Populaire in Paris.

Marie sat in silence for a few minutes after Erik finished his tale. After a considerable length of time, he leaned over and took one of her hands in his. "Now do you see?" he began softly. "Do you understand why I cannot be with you?" It was only then that she lifted her head to look at him.

"You can't blame yourself for everything. Yes, you made bad decisions, but" Erik interrupted; he had had enough of this. "Bad decisions? I KILLED people, Marie!"

Marie stood up, her eyes filled with angry determination. Erik stood as well. "Erik, the world pushed you into a corner, it was only fair of you to push back!" Erik opened his mouth to speak, but Marie would not have it. "Besides, I don't see any of this in you! You've changed Erik, I believe that! I really do!" Erik was ready to start tearing out what little hair he had. He felt like he was about to explode. "Christine, will you just liste-" he stopped abruptly. Had he just… "Who is Christine?" Marie asked, letting anger creep into her voice. "Is she… is she the girl you were telling me about, just now?" She crossed her arms and gave Erik an ice-cold glare. "The girl from the Opera? That you _obsessed _over?" Erik could not take this any longer. "It was not obsession!" he screamed. "I loved her!" Marie narrowed her eyes for a moment, and then uncrossed her arms. She turned around and left the garden without saying a word.

Erik stormed up to his room and slammed the door. He then sat down at his desk, put his head in his hands, and began to sob. "Oh, Christine," he whispered. How it pained him to think of her. He should have known better than to tell that girl about Christine. One of the reasons he had agreed to come to America was so he could start trying to forget Christine. She must have gotten married by now, to that de Chagney boy. It was pointless to spend any more time thinking about her. But still…

Erik sat up. How _dare_ that woman call his love for Christine an obsession! She… _No,_ Erik thought as more tears threatened to fall. _I won't do myself any favors by thinking of Christine._ Instead, his thoughts turned to Marie again. How she refused to listen to him, and yelled when he was only trying to help her. He didn't want to hurt her, not like he had surely hurt Christine… Erik groaned. _It's impossible, _he thought._ She is married to another man, living across an entire ocean, yet I can't stop thinking about her! _He flopped down on his bed. _I don't think I EVER will._

Yet as the hours passed, Erik didn't seem capable of avoiding thoughts of Marie either. Her laugh. The way she looked at him, her moments of stubbornness and being strong-willed._ All the things_, Erik realized,_ that made her like Christine. _The girl he could never forget. These things must be why he felt drawn to Marie. But before Erik could push thoughts of both these women from his mind, he realized something else. There were many things that made Marie different from Christine, too. For the most part, Christine was quiet and soft-spoken. Marie was talkative and outgoing. She looked at him as Christine did, but there was a difference. He had always worn his mask around Christine. He didn't even _have_ a mask with him in Boston. And as much as he loved Christine, she had never truly reciprocated those feelings. She did not return his love. But Marie... well, Erik had just gone out of his way to warn her _not_ to love him. And he had seen how upset that had made her. _Curses,_ Erik thought. _The one woman who TRIES to love me, and I very near break her heart. _

"But what does it matter?" Erik said, finally trusting himself to speak out loud. "The demon that I am does not _deserve_ to love. And yet…" Erik stood up and began pacing back and forth, desperately trying to sort out his thoughts. _Christine is married. I shouldn't even bother thinking about her. And Marie. She is very much like Christine, but that's not why I feel for her. But if I cared for her at all, I would keep my distance from her, to keep her safe. Then again, if she loves me, why deny her my company? And if…_ Erik sighed. "Oh, to hell with it. To hell with it all." He sat down again. If this was what being in love felt like, Erik wasn't so sure he liked it. It was so damn _confusing._

__**Thanks for reading, please review!**


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